What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

What do men find attractive in an older woman?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Are you more of a butt guy or a boob guy?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Is it possible for buyers to negotiate after an inspection if the appraisal is lower than expected?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What's your love story?

Make Nazis afraid again!

TEXT:

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

How many couples swap wives?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Can women learn to squirt?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Is there scientific evidence for reincarnation? If so, how does it work and can it be proven through regression therapy?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What if you were the only and last person left on Earth. How will you survive and what would you do with your life?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

What is the best/cute/funny/playful chat/conversation between brother and sister?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority